I spent time silently with God and this is what happened

Christians have various ideas about spending time in silence with God. Evangelicals are sometimes wary of silence. How can I trust that what I hear in the quiet will be God and not my own sinful heart? Our doctrine of original sin tells me that I cannot always trust my own internal voice. Set against this is a strong tradition of silent prayer and contemplation which goes right back to the early church. The great father of the church Saint Augustine was a wholehearted proponent of silent prayer.  

I have been spending time silently with God since my spiritual director suggested it to me some 15 years ago. At the end of my daily time for Bible study and prayer, I spend ten minutes in silence, listening to and being with God. For a long time I focused on actively listening; now I find that it is fine just to be quiet and see what I hear. I have had many experiences in these times. Sometimes I get a sense of a word or a thought coming from God, perhaps a verse of scripture or something else. Often I do not hear anything, but come away more peaceful, having had time in God’s presence. I may find my own thoughts and feelings intrude; part of the discipline of silence is to recognise those thoughts and put them to one side until the time is over. Occasionally I have heard an audible word.

I recently used a book on silence in my quiet times: Finding your hidden treasure: The way of silent prayer by Benignus O’Rourke, an Augustinian friar. O’Rourke encourages his readers to embrace silence, and grounds this in the writings of Augustine. For Augustine, silence was a key way to engage with God. He would agree that you may well hear your own thoughts and feelings, which will be tainted by your sin; he would say that underneath these is a purer voice: the perfect you whom God made. Spending time in silence can help you to identify your own intrusive responses, while also giving you access to a truer version of yourself. Ultimately we should not fear silence as it gives God space to speak. The more we practice being silent with him, the more he will draw near to you. You will get used to hearing his voice, and, even when you don’t, you can trust in the prayers of the Holy Spirit accompanying you.

Think about any conversation. It would not be very effective for you to talk and talk, and then not to listen to anything the other person says. While we have all had conversations like this, they can leave us feeling unheard and unvalued. We demonstrate that we value someone when we listen to them and take them seriously. It is the same with God. Jesus said, ‘My sheep listen to my voice.’ (John 10:27a) You cannot listen if you are distracted or absorbed by filling all the space yourself.

O’Rourke encourages his readers to spend time daily in silent prayer. Notice what comes up from your own heart: intrusive thoughts and feelings, perhaps even things which others are projecting on to you, even a negative view of yourself. In noticing them, put them to one side and deal with them later. In this space, you may learn more about yourself, through the thoughts and feelings which come up in silence. Ask God to take you deeper, enabling you to hear and experience what he wants to communicate to you. Be content to be in the silence and not to hear direct words from God; this does not mean he is not speaking. God wants you to be wholly present to him.

I have steadily got used to these times. At first it was very difficult to hold the silence: ten minutes can feel like a very long time. Gradually it becomes easier to manage, as you get used to the space and experience how God uses it. As you get used to hearing from God, you learn to measure what you think you are hearing, deciding whether it is from God or from you. Just because a thought is from you, it is still worth noticing and reflecting on. What do these thoughts tell you about yourself? What does God want to teach you, or to show you, during this time? It may be something about him or about yourself. It is worth having a journal or prayer diary where you can record what you hear and pray into it later.

I would encourage fellow Christians who are nervous about silence to try it for themselves. Some personality types will undoubtedly find it harder than others. If you are an activist who most easily meets with God when serving others, then it may be more of a struggle to engage with him this way. You may find that perseverance pays dividends. When we give God the space he will often surprise us with what he does.